Destiny

why should i thank god
if i win as i might?
why should i curse him
if i lose the fight?
cause i'm a man
and i choose my own destination.
i won't blame another
even if i face my own damnation.

any color you may follow...all may come just as hollow...

red, green, blue, yellow,
any color u may follow.
leading to the small door
through which alice went before.
and shows you around the kingdom of your mind
where all the people are peaceful and kind.
but when u retrace your steps back one at a time,
the door once open is locked from behind.
and so you cry, and you cry out loud
cause light is so vague without the darkness
that is underneath the shroud!

Death of a Butterfly

It was like something she said a long time back.
"Nothing really ever ends. Death is relative. Your soul is freed from your living body and reaches out for unbounded limits, limits that your mind creates. Your horizon is always streched to that limit, mortal limits as you may say. And with the death of your living human form begins a journey in the never-ending universe. But this time the mortal chains that bind the body is there no more."

As I saw the butterfly slowly dying, these thoughts flashed upon my mind.
"With the death of a butterfly,
colours slowly fading by,
With the rain and the sunshine,
the birth of a rainbow in the sky."

Our mind is always so confused, always lost in this deep dark sea of endless thoughts. Life for this mortal living body is so short, physically handicapped and bound by time. With death the sense of time is lost. It cannot play the master of puppets anymore. Time as a whole looses sense and so does our physical shortcomings. We can do what we always desired to do and make the blue sky colourful once again.

Its Gonna Rain Today

Its gonna rain today,
like all your world will end,
like the end of days.

Its gonna rain today,
making your sorrows re-live,
as you leave the day.

Its gonna rain today,
making you feel like in hell
and banging the bell.

And as you leave this world
what will you feel?
Will you remorse and regret?
or dance in the rain?

And as you live this world
what will you feel?
Will you lie, cheat and steal?
or re-live the pain?

So as you leave this world
what will you feel?
Will you be beggin for mercy?
or wanna reign in hell?

Cause you sure know that...
Its gonna rain today,
like all your world will end,
like the end of days.

My Dark Past

Once again its that time of the year,
when I find myself standing nowhere.
If I face the light I can see the future bright and clear,
but in the my own shadow my gloomy past stands o' so near.

What is it that the most I fear?
which brings to my eye a drop of tear.
What will the future behold?
is it destruction just as the sages have told.
Or will it bring a smile to our face?
as the tears will loose their trace.

Once again its that time of the year,
when I find myself standing nowhere.
If I face the light I will burn down to ashes and dust.
But it is my dark past that I do not trust.

Darkness Shines

Child help me to know what I'm doing.
Sometimes life gets so frustrating.
And if I'm blinded by the light,
dont shelter me to hide.
Just let me to place
where the sun don't shine.

Child help me undo my misgivings.
Sometimes the world's full of misbelievings.
And if I'm misguided by my mind,
dont leave me here to die.
Just let me to place
where the darkness shines.

Only the lord knows,
Only the lord knows what's true.
Only the lord knows,
Only the lord knows what's true.

Child help me drown myself in the deepest waters,
where the darkness is forever.
And when a ray comes along
from the big bright red sun,
let me watch it till its darker
and darkness shines...

The "SMART" People

The Whole World Today is full of so many "Smart" People,
a tribute to them from a guy who's "not so Smart".


Smart people, don't fool me
like you fool the poor with a piece of coin.
Smart people, don't slave me
like you slave the dog with a piece of bone.
Smart people, don't judge me
like you judge a toddler trying to walk.
Smart people, don't love me
like you love the TV and the Reality Stars.

i am not your element of hate
Nor i am not your element of faith.
i am not your element of subordinacy
Nor i am your element of heroism.
so just let me be.

Smart people, don't prophesize me
let me follow my own lord.
Smart people, don't control me
let me follow my own heart.
Smart people, don't isolate me
let me find oneness in nature.
Smart people, dont tie me down
let me be free.

i am not the seed you sow
Nor i am not the kind you follow.
i am not the pill you take
Nor i am the smile you fake.
so just let me be.

Smart people, follow your own smart way
i am not the cup in your tray.
Smart people, you might be the king of the town
but i am not the one you own.

Smart people, look in the mirror in front of you.
your sons and daughters might not be as smart as you!!!

Lucky# 53

sitting idle with a pack of cards in my hands
counting them all from 1 to 52
all of a sudden my eyes fell upon #53
people know it by the name of mr joker

then suddenly i felt my soul overtaken
and my mind speaking the words of someone else

"you may be the queen of hearts
and your friends may be the other 3
you may even find your own king of spades
may also find the jack who lays the red carpet for you
you may find god in the aces of different religions
and people may know you just by the look of your face

but no one ever knows the #53
switching the places, the faces and the voices of all the 52 of them
playing the king, the queen or the jack
or any other fuckin number in the pack

you may be broken or even may be stolen
you may switch hands, but you will never loose your colour
while i come in the picture, in the hands of the gamblers
only as a switch-bitch make-shift torniquet

they may be worthless, but all of them have a colour
and they all are counted, adding upto 52
but when they are broken or lost in the change of seasons
it is time for me, mr joker #53
and as i come in to play their part in the game of cards
the one, people knew as the joker, has the last laugh at last"

i tried to comeback to my former self
tried to make me believe that this is all a dream
then i re-found myself holding a mirror
all this time thought it to be card #53

For whom there is a world beyond this world...Going Home

this is my time. but it is going to stop.
this is my space. but it is shrinking.
this is my world. but I will have to leave.
this is my life. but it is going to end.

don't treat me like a dog, even though i am. give me my time, my space, my world.
give me back my life, if you can.
you cant take my time as i cannot take ours.it will just flow and flow.
you cant take away my space as none of it is yours.
you cant take away my world as i'm gifting it to god.
you can take my life, but not my soul.it will fly high and high into the open sky.

i want to re-live all of the little time i had on my own once again.
the first time i saw the light...god's grace...the first foot i set on the mother earth...the smell of it...the first time i could feel the energy flow in my veins...but all these not for long...there i can feel a pain, deep in my bones...felt like the first call from home...and it comes and haunts me everyday...my belief of this earth as my home is slowly fading as i am pulled in this dark quicksand...my home...the calls, what were a whisper once, are becoming louder and louder day by day...i can hear them in the dark...see them in the broad daylight...

i close my eyes...the fears disappear...i feel of flying over a thousand seas...no distant shore can be seen...but no...at last i can see the shore...a place, green forever, no pain, no hate, no fight for survival...

for the last time i want to feel the pain which is going to leave me now...
as i am leaving...going home...

time it has stopped.
space is a point.
world is far.
am i dead?

no, i am home.

hmmm...a woman at last....

next night...tat was a saturday...finished my work early...thought of a woman...how about Dolores...of Cranberries fame...the cover art of 'are u listening' was good...was a nice pose...i thought...tried not to do an exact with the face...maybe could not...but the posture...came up with this...

after tat the breakfast at CCD was good...but burned up all of it within mins...as the bike was again not listening to me...not giving me a headstart...20 mins gone...it sounded like before...for daarubhai though...after a bad day at office...he was

kind of expecting it...but as the saying goes...alls well tat ends well...

Mystic...Johhny...

2 days gone...life's never been such borin before...even my bike was not listening to me...came back to office at night...i was so fucked off and reluctent...tat had my work messed up...fuck...now wat??#$%...had 2 hrs time to clean up the shit...old friend gyani was to the rescue...together we...after a long time actualy we did some RND...cleaned up my mess...tried to do a Ozzy it sucked...then old johhny gave me the call...tried my hands...not really good enough though...but still...oh by the way...after helplin me out..little gyani was in a mess..so he really didn't find the time and mind to take a good look at it...

Intensity

next month EST hours continues...
well...clint eastwood has been one of my all time favs...the whole day was spent watchin 3 of his movies only...comin back to office...the old burning desire was surely driving me mad...had to draw something which had intensity...tried my hands at his one...

old....wise?

another day in EST...night was creepin in slowly in india...i asked abhishek..."hey, gimme some idea on what todraw"..,prompt came the answer..."dickhead"...now tats quite a subject...just a few days back watched some rated movie whose director surely must have had the same subject on mind when he shot tat one...went over to abhishek to vividly describe its detailed screenplay...came back...wat to draw???...and a ha...old man...hows tat...sketched a few of them earlier...now this one...

again comics...and ghostrider...

there is this old buddy of mine...mandar... who's crazy about animation and comics...together we are the proud owners of the animation series of batman, spiderman, he-man and lots more...and along with that, loads of comics...i was back at my hometown...iron-man had just released...we had this talks on the actual character as in marvel comics and then we slowly moved on to ghostrider...i was back at my place...the noon was spent watching the movie ghostrider...3rd time i watched it...sleepin and dreamin like crazy...then comin back to office i thought...there a lot of spare time today why not spend some time on RND...and so i found out this great site...tonymooreillustration.com...the guy an amazing artist...and this sketch of ghostrider was the result...i really loved the way he stood tall...reminded me of old clint eastwood of the west...

EST hours...

workin in EST hours can be quite a fun...earlier there used to be lots of net surfing...and orkuting..all these despite the fact that our prject "demands" blockin all the proxies and so every day there was this search mode on for proxies...after a week or so..it was blocked and the n started the hunt for a new one...currently we are out of stock...and so i decided to get back to my old passion...google was there for me and all i needed more was a pen n a paper...

JESUS...

doesn't happen quite often ..was in office at 9am...it's quite early for the kind of project i'm in...had more than an hour to kill...just a few days ago, went through quite a nice site on arts...uhh..forgot the name..but was a link to indiatimes.com...artists all indian...was lookin through them...thought...why not try my hands at one of them...here it is...looks like incomplete...oh..forgot to tell u an implementation was at stake...

existence...

many a times i think about my existence...
but,only one answer comes to my mind.
i'm just a dot on this earth
and the earth...is just another dot in this universe
and so...
i stop thinkin about my existence
and
when u stop thinkin about urself
u r free
free as a bird that flies high up in the sky
tries to break the limits
but something pulls it ...
back in this hole
n out of despair
i again...start thinking about my existence

who am i?who are we???who are they???
where did we come from how it all started???
what made the air?what made the fire??what made the earth and the water???
are we alone?why do we think?is there something else like us?do they think?
how can u look into a person's eyes without him seeing you???will he always have to be blind??why do we listen to music? how does it make us happy n why??does god exist??does he know that we exist? are we his creations?what is this universe? why there is a constant urge for survival...when every body knows for sure that we will have to die in the end??do we really die??is there life after death??what are spirits??where do they live...in another dimension??what is dimension??someone told my friend to think of more than 3 dimensions...one can be time...but then time cannot be travelled back...if we can move faster than light can we travel time...lets say i can travel faster then light...then i can definitely go to almost any place at any instant..i can see what is happening and then come back to my source place....but then how can i say i have travelled time...what if someone can travel time...can god travel time???why do we dream?are dreams for real?what is love?what is hate?why do we have emotions?do snakes have emotions?why do we kill people?why do we kill animals?why do we pretend to feed them?why do we pretend? what is pretention?what am i writing?what are u reading?why am i writing?why am i listening to radiohead?why do people dope? why do i dope?what is meant by psychedelic trips? am i having one? but i'm not doped...nor poisoned..why do people commit suicide...???
why do they have fears?why did i stop???

on horses

GRAZING HORSES...........
now where shall i start from???
The Phantom....his horse Hero...started my fasination for horses n drawing them...then its was going to my grandpa's home...we had to travel by the Red Road...past maidan...the grazin horses there...then there was Kashmir..paradise on earth..my first real-life encounter with a horse...n riding it....before that it was all books..n distant looks...
loved them in all colours...be it white or black...loved them wild...not the well-dressed n crew-cut army horses...loved alexander...loved tipu...loved shivaji...for their love for horses...
even loved the sleepy hollow for that headless horseman...
love metallica's 'four horsemen'...
never thought why they would have to show the deaths of the horses in 'the ring'....

THE PHANTOM...the ghost who walks...the undead...

the original work....the dead...n...the undead

the phantom has long been my favorite....my association with him started a long time back...and its been after all these 20 years i have realised his influence on me....

it started with horses...my love for them....drawing them...sketching them...then africa...the pygmies...the pirates...then all sorts of wierd things...the skull..the wizardry..the spirits...and how the legacy still lives on...there is a normal man...and then there is The Phantom.......then there are the good n the bad...n everyone knows that secrects are meant to be kept secrets...and behind the skull cave...the waterfall...there lies everything...so u must know that behind every veil hides a face...that may be good or that may be evil...but the good must fight the evil....n so he moves like a spirit ...with the wind he comes n with the wind he goes...you will not have the a clue...maybe you will never know..but justice has arrived....

the ghost who walks

the ghost who walks... better known as 'the phantom'...considered by me as one of the most intriguing comic characters ever created....this one is also a piece of the original...with some technological wizardry...

the ghost who walks...
as the legend goes...the phantom never dies...it is nothing but a spirit...it has lived on for more than 400 hundred years....many tried to kill it but it never was to be...cause from the ashes it will rise n bring death to the unholy for all the sins they have committed...and take their spirits and make them free....cause one cannot live with guilt...and so as the legend goes if there has to be any end of all this evil doings...it has to be through the hands of THE PHANTOM...cause,
he is the undead...the ghost who walks...